MLB Star Power Index Appreciating Brewer

MIL 1B #12 BA0.156R4HR1RBI1SB0 No affront intended, but one must ask: What is Justin Smoak doing on here, having his star power indexed and everything? The veteran first baseman has been the depth and breadth of serviceability throughout his 11-ish-year big-league career, but normally in these parts we ask more of our stars and their power that we are tasked with indexing. Simply put, Mr. Smoak has ambled into this weekly pantheon on account of his pulling double duty as a Sears Roebuck mannequin.You see, the Brewers this past week played their 2020 home opener, and that occasioned a first board-certified look at their new cream-colored home uniforms. It fell to Mr. Smoak to do the best job of modeling the duds in question, at least within the limited suite of action-sports photography to which this foul-smelling scribe has premium acce s. Emmanuel Ogbah Jersey Sure, we could've indulged in felonious screencapping in violation of multiple international treaties, but the lawle s shall find no quarter here.Anyway, here's Smoak returning to the office after scoring a run in the sixth against the White Sox on Monday night: You may now fan yourselves. It says here -- and in this space opinions are facts -- that those are now the best uniforms in all of MLB. The Brewers for too long avoided using the that sublime mb/ball-in-glove logo, which should hang in the Louvre (or let there be no Louvre), as their primary, but they've thankfully wised Armani Watts Jersey up, if belatedly so. From 1994 through 2019, the Brewers deprived civilization of such beauty, and for that they are to be full-throatedly denounced from now until the final pages of history. At least, though, the Brewers finally look like all available gods intended them to look.Also, please do observe this winning flourish (again modeled by big No. 12):Hills be shaken: That sleeve patch is a baseball with . Wheat, of course, is a common ingredient in nutritious, morality-improving beer, and the Brewers are named after Those Who Give Us Beer. Beyond all that, everyone loves gluten. Anyway, thanks, Smoaky, for all the proper posing. MIN 1B #22 BA0.133R5HR2RBI3SB0 Ilsa Lund in asked a question that we've all posed at one point or another in our stupid human peregrinations: "Was that cannon fire, or is my heart pounding?" The answer for you, URL clicker, will be "yes" upon viewing this Miguel Sano blast, which came at the expense of a miserable baseball team from Pittsburgh. Volume up and ear emoji at the ready: A San storm with a direct hit at PNC Park. | Minnesota Twins (@Twins) The drums of war? Sometimes the drums of war are fired out of the guns of war. That's what you heard above. Sano in 2019 cracked 34 homers in just 105 games, so he's no stranger to this sort of thing. He'd been off to a slow start in 2020, but perhaps 114 mph off the bat will get him unlocked at the plate.Get it on? People, you must first bang a gong. Now that the gong hath been banged, you may proceed to get it on. LAD Demarcus Robinson Jersey SP #85 ERA2.63WHIP1.17IP13.2BB3K15 The internet is nothing if not a clearinghouse of sickening and grubby filth. So in the hopes that you're currently in incognito mode, here's a recent sinker from young Dodgers moundsman Dustin May: Dustin May, Ungodly 99mph Two Seamer. Rob Friedman (@PitchingNinja) Lard uhmighty. May averages a hefty 98 mph with that particular offering, but the late, sharp movement is even more impre sive than the velo. In this particular instance, the pitch looked good enough for Manny Machado to swing at as it approached the plate, but the arm-side run was such that the ball almost wound up in the right-handed batter's box. That kind of movement -- harne sed enough to get a whiff no le s -- is a rare sight indeed. Sinker or "reverse slider somehow thrown with elite fastball velocity"? What you witne sed above almost inspires us to call it the latter. As for May himself, you'll note that his filthy, revolting stuff in tandem with his comedic mime's hair call out for a nickname. Thus it is written that Dustin May Kendall Fuller Jersey will henceforth be known as "Bozo Disgusto."What with the departures of Hyun-Jin Ryu, Kenta Maeda, and Rich Hill; the injury to Alex Wood; and the health concerns of Clayton Kershaw in recent seasons, he shall play a major role with the Dodgers this season. By "he" we of course mean Bozo Disgusto. SD SS #23 BA0.294R11HR4RBI13SB4 Bat flips are fine. They're inoffensive and harmle s, but more often than not they're somewhat banal. Occasionally, though, we're ble sed with an exception. So it is with the flip that followed this recent Fernando Tatis Jr. home run against Team Parking Lots: TO THE MOON. San Diego Padres (@Padres) That's 112 mph off the bat and a distance of 430 feet -- authoritative and the opposite of cheap. And as long as we're praising NL uniforms, let's take another opportunity to drink deeply of Padre brown. Excelsior and thank you, Padres.Now let's home in on the bat flip: Future MLB MVP Fernando with a bat flip for the ages Paul Reindl (@PaulReindlSD) Some bat-flips -- the least interesting kind of bat-flips -- suggest advance planning, orchestration to lame-wad extremes. No such faults to be found here. Tatis casts his implement aside as though it's the nece sary capstone of his swing, as though it couldn't have happened any other way. Please do appreciate the measured stare. Then appreciate his resolute gait. It suggests that the cattle rustling would stop the moment his boots cro sed the Wyandotte County line. It indeed stopped, the Patrick Mahomes Jersey cattle rustling.